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Exactly one year ago today I decided I was tired of living a lie and hiding from the life I deserved. I felt like I had no purpose and I was just going through the motions of life to get by. I hated the way I looked on the outside and how I felt about myself on the inside. It was a dark place and I wasted 18 years in that place. We spend so much of our lives trying to fit into someone else’s body or ideal that we forget to live in the one we have and enjoy life. It’s a never ending cycle and it took me getting to 309 pounds to finally pump the breaks. It wasn’t a way to enjoy life and I wasn’t living to my full potential. I didn’t want to wake up tired, miserable, achy, and unsettled for one more day. I wanted my kids to be proud of me and be inspired by my strength and I wanted my husband’s success I had watched over the years. So I did my research and made a plan. Enough was enough and vowed to myself I wasn’t going to waste another day living the life I was living the past 18 years. I realized I needed to stop comparing myself with others and realize my own self worth by loving the skin I’m in now. Stop saying “when I get to my goal weight I’ll be happy.” No, I need to feel that I am enough now, and I’m worthy of love now. Otherwise, not changing the way I loved myself wouldn’t change the dark place I was in when I get to your goal weight. I still wouldn’t be happy and I’d more than likely return to my old ways.
What did I gain in the past year?
-discovered my strength
-self respect and self love
-passion for life
-a hate for sugar
-gained my purpose
-honestly with myself
-accepting there’s no such thing as perfection
-I learned the difference between pleasure and happiness
What did I lose in the past year?
-toxic relationship with my best friend, sugar
-toxic relationship with my inner critic
-negativity about myself
Super strict keto and had the most significant weight loss in the first six months. No gym but I did walking. Lots of intermittent fasting to control my emotional eating.
Not as strict keto and I allowed extras in occasionally. Added the gym to my journey to manage stress and tighten skin.
Slower weight loss pace but finally felt a balance of living life while losing weight. Balance eating without the extremes. Know who you are and keep the boundaries.
Integrity momentum – make small daily goals that you can achieve
“Not everyone can be skinny, but everyone can be strong”
Time will pass anyway, you can spend it creating the life you want or spend it living the life you don’t want. The choice is yours.
I learned to live my life without my best friend, sugar. Being addicted to sugar and carbs was emotionally, physically, mentally exhausting. I lived with a false impression that I had a companion. I loved the sugary foods with all my heart and nothing else mattered. I was so satisfied with that pleasure of eating it that ignored the red flags as my health declined. I stayed in this relationship because it was easy to excuse away my expanding waistline. This went on since 2003. Confessing my secret relationship on this YT channel made me own it.
Sweater worn in video (large):
Jeans worn in video (size 12):
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Track: Ascence – Konnichiwa [NCS Release]
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